TOY TOWN - THE TESCO BAG CHRONICLES (Epilogue)

It was New Year's Eve and Dennis was amazed to hear the bad language emanating from Larry's Den. He popped his head around the door and ducked quickly as an Orange Wireless box whistled past his head.

"The ba-aally Orange Internet has gone down" Larry cursed.

"Don't worry " replied Dennis, " We can still look back on 2008 and here's a glass of single malt to calm you down."

"I'm rather glad The Serious Economic Crimes Unit did not find graft and corruption in Toytown, though the way the Townhall works needs to be looked at." said Dennis.

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"I am still not happy about the business of Ernest The Stout Policeman going round and 'leaning' on Councillors, though" replied Larry. "It had a touch of ' The Damian Green Affair' about it, even though Inspector Bloodhound has finished his enquiries into what Ernest was up to and confirmed there was nothing un-toward and that Ernest was just following up information. He seemed quite adament on 31 July that there was no investigation going on, and even Det Sgt Upaton returned to copy the message about Ernest into his notebook."

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Larry paused for a moment. " Anyway, with some luck, that's the end of the matter and the Tesco Bag has at last got back to Bosun Bob. Captain Brass has at least bought him a 'paper shredder' but why Bosun Bob and the Pirates have got involved in fencing pastures when a perfectly good fences exist already, beats me."

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"Larry, you have forgotten about Inches The Grass Snake waiting on our door-step, when we got back from Ibiza. Mr Mayor or The Bumbling Magiician must have told him about us or could it have been Mr Owl?" Dennis said.

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"It doesn't ma-aatter now, Dennis," said Larry, as he topped up his glass from the decanter.

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"Di --idn't the Society of Toytown Bloggers do a good job and The 'China Gate' story in the Toytown Gazunder certainly raised the profile of what Commerce General Property were upto. The Private Eye articles also helped enormously. What was the high point of the year for you De--ennis?"

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"Oh, that's easy to answer", said Dennis. "The look of sudden realisation, on 'Our Ken's' face as he put up his hand to vote at The Planning Committtee meeting in August, that he could not deliver the expected approval of ' China gate' due to three of Mr Mayor's Party having scruples and voting that it should go to Full Council.!"

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"I ree---eember that!", said Larry. " Seeing people rushing to mobile phones and ringing Mr Mayor on his yacht with the news was also interesting. The unseemly panic and haste that followed in The Town Hall, as 29th Aug, then 9th September were mooted as Full Council meetings was very revealing. Anyway, the 9th October was quite rightly settled for! Do you think it was true that Mr Ma--ayor called those Councillors in for a telling off? He ssshouldn't have done cos Planning ish ment to be non partishan. Could you top me up, Dennish?"

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"But, The Toytown Councillors approved Captain Brass' application on the 9th October, Larry, so we lost in the end didn't we?"

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"Nooo way, Dennish", mumbled Larry, " chop my grass up again, woulg you pleesh. Weeceshion in 2009; shinking sips or is it sshares; shirty planning condishhuns and who knows what else; revolushion in The Town Hall and even that Waitrose ba-aag under the shtairs to look into ........"

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"Happy New Year, Larry" Dennis whispered as he took the empty glass out of Larry's limp trotter and covered the snoring Lamb with a blanket.

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'What Waitrose bag?', he thought as he scratched behind his ear at an uninvited New Year guest.