'Cadillacs of The Sky'' and 'Rats with Wings'

At least some tourists have come into Thanet this week. Sitting on the balcony this week I saw my first two pairs of swifts (Apus apus). They are a little earlier than normal and will be finding a loft in Cliftonville to nest in. It will be a few weeks before the air is filled with screeching young following parents over the roof tops at speed. If you have never paused to watch them, do so. In my street they play 'follow my leader slalom' between the telephone wires at 30mph and are truly 'Cadillacs of the Sky'.

Just in case you think I am turning into a 'bird-hugger', this week has seen the 3rd year running where a pair of herring gulls have disturbed the afternoon peace by having coitus on my neighbour's dormer window roof. If you have not had the misfortune of witnessing this spectacle, the male sounds as if a cat has got its mouth round his neck and screeches and squacks in what must be the Larus argentatus version of ecstasy.


I suppose I should not begrudge them their 3 minutes of sex each year but I paid attention in my Biology lessons and know what the consequences of unprotected sex are.


For the next 2-3 months my sleep is going to be disturbed throughout the night; my neighbours bin-bag contents will be strewn across the road; my car, pavement and windows will be peppered with guano daily and when a brown ugly little 'minor' falls down into the road my movement on foot will be dive-bombed by irate and protective mum and dad. It will be like living at the bottom of a bird-cage with 'neighbours from hell'.

NOT this year though! I have had enough! I have called 'Gullbusters' and so have my neighbours. This year some other part of Margate can host this family of 'Rats with wings'. I put details below, should you need to call them in.