Tuesday, 30 December 2008

TOY TOWN - THE TESCO BAG CHRONICLES (Part 3 - The Disgraceful Business at Larry's)

Weeks passed and in July, Larry and Dennis trotted on down to see Davina The Mare and ask why 'Your Town' would not go to print with the story contained in the Tesco Bag. All Davina would say was 'neigh, neigh'.
" I de--espair with this business, De--nis" said Larry, in late July. "We only have a short time before 'Our Ken' gathers the Toytown Planning Committee together to 'nod' through Captain Brass's plans to cover Toytown with a Gateway. You remember what a faa-arce the 'Site Visit' was. If we don't do something soon, Mr Maaa-yor and The Bumbling Magician will deliver Commerce General Property the 'approval' it seeks without this issue going to a Full Council. Oh, wha---t are we to do?"
Dennis scratched his ear with his right back leg and then said, "Larry, my old friend, I think I have a cunning plan". He paused for another scratch.
" We need to leak the contents of this Tesco Bag into the public domain. We also need to talk to some of our Toytown Councillors who are not happy with The Mayor's antics at The Arkvlle Mayor's Ball and his conduct and that of The Bumbling Magician at The Toytown Wool Shop. If they see what's in the Tesco Bags and the goings on with Mr Mayor and Captain Brass and his crew, they might want the Full Council to look at this Gateway thing and even put pressure on Mr Mayor to have a re-think. By the way Larry, what does 'f*****g t****r' mean?"
Larry did a quick twirl on two back trotters; shouted, " Dennis, you are brill!", and then sped out of the house.
Larry returned in a short while with what looked like a Tesco Bag and began to play with his computer. "De---nnis" he said, " if we pass some material onto the Toytown Bloggers Society in advance and invite people to visit for coffee and show them the contents, then in no time at all, this whole business will be in the public domain. Ring up the following people, could you?"
That evening just as dusk was falling, Squaller, The Seagull and Igneous, The Inventor called at Larry's but without Hamish, The Highland Steer. "He can't make it" said The Inventor and it was just as well that he did not hear Dennis' growled remark, "That's the problem when you have no b***s!" In quick succession in the following days, Minister Windy; but not Mr Spots The Ladybird (Dennis said he had thousands of reasons to support Captain Brass); the garrulous Station Master; Mr 'Ten-point' Deer and Mr Pond Frog, all came to peer inside the Tesco Bag.
"Oh, Dee--nnis", said Larry The Lamb, "Your cunning plan is going to work marvellously". If Larry had realised that a murky train of events was already in motion, he wouldn't have sat there enjoying his Ovaltine.


Anonymous said...

sounds actionable to me

Bertie Biggles said...

What does, 19.32?

steve said...

bertie, i like the story, but I don't like the threatening, nameless posters.

You'd think if they had any action they could take, they'd just take it?